The stone in your shoe – You – 5 Ways How to Free Yourself
Have you ever walked along, enjoying the view or rushing off to a meeting, just to find a little stone in your shoe? You start tapping your shoe, first on the toe, while you are in the momentum of moving forward. Then you start to break your gate so you can tap it on the sides. It is gone … you thought, nope it is back again. Again, to the side, then the toe. And when that does not work, let me try the heel. You bend one knee and you tap the heel of your shoe to move the stone.
Eventually, this tiny stone is now as big as a rock and only now do you stop to take it out.
This analogy is so relevant to our lives. We hit our first bump perhaps in the form of a little irritation and we do not stop to realise why we are experiencing the bump. We are too worried about tomorrow and what happened yesterday, that we just keep moving forward. Then we get sidelined, we do not reach our goal and we start feeling that we are not good enough or that we are not worthy. Eventually, we bow the knee to the belief and we become the servant of the belief. Until the day we say: this is enough. I want my life back.
What we do not realise is that our life is following a certain path because of the beliefs we have formed. Because of those beliefs, we get ourselves into situations that re-enforce the belief. Eventually we become stressed, we feel devalued, life is unfair, and we feel as though we are trapped. There is no way forward, there is no light and people and events work against us.
Now we start to put limitations on ourselves. We do not apply for the position. We rather stay at home than go out and volunteer or join a club. We become over-critical of ourselves and those around us. We are always busy and running around chasing something unidentifiable. We blame the outside world. We let go of our dreams and our calling because we believe that we cannot do or achieve them. Life has pushed us around enough and we give ‘in’.
But all along we tap our “toe” and what is troubling us is gone for a while. When it re-appears we tap es on the ‘side’. We decide to ’jump’ out of our depression, and give it a go, just to be disappointed. To be able to say to ourselves, see I was right, to return to our corner and to stay there. All the while our life is passing us by. And all along the emotions disappear for a short while, sometimes longer, but we know, eventually they reappear. Eventually, we are angry at life, we live in stress and we are unhappy. We stop dreaming and planning, why would we, nothing works out for us.
The stone has started to grow into a boulder. Stress, anxiety, and resentment are growing. Eventually, we are told that we have depression or some physical condition that no one can explain or identify.
What has happened is that we have handed our lives over to the outside world.
How long will you walk with that stone in your shoe, before you stop, bend down and take it out? Take it out forever?
If we do not look at the cause of the problem we start to tell ourselves we are not good enough. We do not deserve certain achievements. We cannot do certain tasks. We unfortunately will do nothing about this until it ‘hurts’ enough as a physical illness or pain – backache, skin conditions, intestinal diseases – then we go off to a medical practitioner and our next step is a hand full of pills.
Science today shows that unresolved emotional conditions will manifest as a physical illness.
Easier said than done, you say. If you will not stop to remove the stone, then you will suffer. Your choice always remains – life is a choice. The choice of am I going to suffer through this on my own, or will I seek help to clear this as soon as possible?
Here are a few steps to get you going:
- Acknowledge the belief. Until you stop and hear that little voice in your head, that tells you: you are not good enough, you are not deserving, until that day, nothing will change. The moment you hear that little voice – loud and clear – for what it is, only a limiting belief, you will believe that is what you have been dealt and that is who you are to be in this life.
- Decide it is time. How desperate are you to stop the pattern? Or do you want to keep on ‘tapping’? The choice remains yours. No person on this Earth can force you to make the change. You unconsciously have become addicted to your belief and the emotions that go with it. Until you decide that you are now ready to take the stone out of your shoe, no one can force you to do it. Make it your priority today, find the help you need to rediscover your motivation and ‘direction’. Decide today.
- Take Responsibility. As I said above, decide to stop the pattern today – so it is about taking responsibility. Life does not happen to you – life happens and you decide how you are going to react. Look at your patterns, listen to the recurring voice in your head – what does it say to make you stop living your best life? Take responsibility for your actions and beliefs. You cannot change ‘something’ if you cannot see that it needs changing.
- Don’t worry about the Outside World. Does the ‘world at large’ pay for your house, car, food, clothing, or holidays? When you live a life where you always measure yourself by other people, you will always live in lack. Invest – time and money – in that, which is important to you. This is your life – do not allow yourself to be judged by the ‘measure of lack’ to comply with World Expectations. If you do, you will always ‘nearly make it. The stone will stay, you will ‘tap’ and the stone will ‘grow’ into a rock.
- Know Yourself. One of the great causes of anxiety is the fact that we are denying our dreams and callings. Know what you want in life. Know what is important in your life and the level of importance. It does not help you force yourself to enjoy sport when your soul is fed by theatre. Know who you are, what you like, how much time you are prepared to spend and what monetary value you are prepared to offer to have it. Everything comes at a cost: family, time for self, finances, etc. Everything – are you prepared to spend the ‘cost’ on something that is not truly you?
All the power lies within you to make the change.
When will your stone be big enough for you to do something about it?
Sue Leppan
Transformation Life Coach
NLP Practitioner
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SueLeppanLifeCoach/